We've been in the Army all of three years and seeing how I'm an expert on the subject, I thought I would write about it. Well three years in the military is nothing, I know nothing, I have experienced nothing, and I am nobody, but there are things that really surprised me about the military and I've had people ask me whats its like or who say their boyfriend is thinking of joining, what should I know. Being from California you don't really grow up knowing that much about the military, just what you see in movies and here from the weirdos that are in ROTC. So I had my own idea of what it would be like, and although it wasn't completely off the mark, there are things that really surprised me about it, and here they are....
1. Time away from family
I knew that the military came with deployments and that they weren't fun. But i didn't think about the month long trainings, or the week long trainings, the overnight ones. Or that on a daily basis my husband works 13+ hours. The time away is no joke and its enough for us to say no to a life long career in the military.
2. Not all jobs are the same
Your job matters. As much as all of this is my experience, my neighbors is completely different, and her neighbors is different. Everyone has a job in the Army and it determines your hours, deployments, stations. It matters what you do and more than that, who your boss is. Even though our experiences will be very similar, no ones will be exactly a like.
3. It's not like the movies
I expected soldiers to be really proud of being in the military. I expected them to be honorable and outstanding people. If you're in the military you're probably laughing at all of this. Although those guys are there, a lot of the time you have guys who hate it. Who have attitude, who talk back, who are rude. Theres cheating, stealing, DUIs. All things that happen in civilian life, I guess I just thought the military was different.
4. The people you meet
The people you meet really do become like family. No one understands exactly what you're going through better than them. I didn't expect to get as attached as I have to the people here but we have learned that we are able to make lifelong friendships anywhere. We feel like this has been Gods way of showing us the importance of the global church, not just the church in your hometown. This has honestly been the biggest lesson we learned from the military.
5. It brings you together or tears you apart
Deployments, trainings, time away can all be a huge strain on your marriage. It can lead to resentment, anger, bitterness. The military can make it really easy to have disconnect with your spouse. You are in a sense leading separate lives. Things get busy for them and things get busy at home. If you're not intentional, I think it can lead to a lot of problems. On the other side, it can, at times be good. Being away from your spouse brings a different kind of emotional intimacy that you both experience. If communicated correctly, it can make your relationship grow so much. Every time my husband is away from home, I feel like we grow closer. Its almost like your relationship is put in the oven and it either burns or it grows tremendously and quickly.
6. Family
Even though life in the military has been difficult and at times impossible, I wouldn't take it back. God has used it to grow us. We have really realized the importance of family. Things change so quickly in the military, people often come and go. The constant is our family and we have made it a point to focus on it. We focus on our marriage and on our boys. It has been really awesome to see military families with high school kids that are really close. They're like a little team of Christians, a force, serving and loving wherever they go. Its something to aspire to in the future. I hope wherever we go next and eventually end up that people feel the same way about our family. We're learning that you get out of relationships, what you pour into them, and we should pour everything into the people around us.
The Army is not everyone. It is a really hard place to be, and even more so for Christians. I am grateful for everyone who chooses to do what so few choose. It can be a learning, trying, and growing experience. There is a lot of sacrifice that comes with it, but there is also a lot to be proud of. We are so very proud of our soldier. I love that we can tell our boys that their dad is doing something great and even though he's not always home, we can always be proud of the man he is.
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