Life with a newborn and Toddler

Life has been like a crazy tornado around here. I hate to admit that life was kind of a breeze with just Jed. He drove me a little crazy at times but I was able to give him individual attention and we were still able to go out with him fairly easily. Having two kids seems to change everything. It's like theres not one free minute in the day. If I can manage to have them both take naps, which they are doing right now (hallelujah), I try to nap too.

 Jed has adjusted pretty well considering everything that has changed. New brother, new house, and visitors all in the same month!! He has had his, umm moments, but for the most part he's been pretty helpful. He also finds it necessary to kiss him and hug him everyday. It's pretty adorable! Nothing can prepare you for a newborn! I can only describe it as  someone throwing you in a foreign country and making you get a job. Is that a weird description? Ha. But thats how I imagine it. Even after Jed, I still feel like I don't exactly know what I'm doing. He's already so different from Jed, and our life situation is very different too. Being away from family is probably the most difficult thing this time around. Even if just for the moral support, you miss that. I'm even starting to miss my mom telling me that he's always cold and needs socks.

 It seems like life is speeding by with two kids. How is he a month already!? It feels like we just brought him home the other day. I'm looking forward to seeing how different he is than Jed, and to them playing together, that day cant come soon enough for Jed! He loves having a brother. As you can see by the pictures above^^ Funny story, those pictures were so hard to take. Jed was being a complete butt head during the whole thing. A toddler with attitude is exactly like being pecked to death by chickens (whoever thought of that is wise beyond their years)! RJ says he's 3 going on 13 year old girl (hahaha). So I will forever laugh at these picture because they just don't tell the whole story, but pictures never do ;)

Two Weeks

Its been almost two weeks since we welcomed Lucas into our lives. It has been a very crazy two weeks, we are really tired, but really grateful to have him. Life with a toddler and a newborn is exhausting, but so much fun. I mean I'm walking around with milk stains, messy hair, and sweats! I forgot how much work it is to have a newborn. And we've talked about HAVING MORE!! Are we insane or what!?


 It's amazing how your heart opens up to love a whole other person. How can you love someone you just met so much? How can I already have hopes and dreams for this little guy? Motherhood is such an amazing thing, and a new baby just grows your love more than you thought was possible. You're responsible for a human! And as much as I want to take credit for making him, I know that God made him perfectly for us. We are the very best parents for Luke and he is the very best for our family. Can't wait to see him grow up and play with his brother, who is already (surprisingly) so in love. It could have really gone either way, and the first night we thought it was going the other way, but we're so grateful that Jed seems to really like his brother. He kisses him and hugs him everyday, and he tries to help in any way he can. He is just the sweetest! And even though sometimes I feel like Cinderella (before the castle), it is totally worth it!

Pregnancy after loss

We're a month away from our due date and still nowhere near prepared for having a baby. Our bassinet is still in the garage, our car seat is still wrapped, and we still have no baby name, diapers, or clothes. This summer has been really busy, but I still find it curious that we are not at all prepared. It really goes against my nature to not prepare for things. If anything, I am overly prepared! As I was thinking the other day why we haven't done any of those things, what came to mind was, well you never know. It was  such a strange thought. I think after losing Benjamin, I'm a lot more cautious about things. Quite frankly, I'm a little scared. There were so many things that I thought could go wrong with Benjamin, but losing him was never one of them. The thought of picking a baby name just scares me. It scares me to make plans, and have dreams for this baby like we did with Ben.

 I don't know what the answer is. I know God is in control. I know that there are a lot of things that I can never change, but I can't help but feel scared. I'm not even sure that scared is the right word. I still feel heartbreak for Benjamin, the same way as I did when he first died. I don't think that's something that will ever go away. A part of me just feels like I could never handle going through something like that again, and the possibility scares me.  I know that rationally I shouldn't be afraid of something that isn't happening, and that I can't know will happen. I just can't live that way. We're just taking it one day at a time. There are good days and bad days, but every day we are reminded that God is in control. There is nothing outside of His power and He loves us. Even through the struggle, there is no better place to be. We are excited and nervous, but always hopeful. Continue to pray for us! 35 weeks!

The Farm with Ava!

I wrote a post a while back about the first time we visited the farm, here. Now we're back! This time we went with some friends who were visiting who also have kids, one of which is Ava. She is about Jeds age and a whole lot of fun. It was a different experience this time around because they are older and understand a little more.

Here they are feeding the goats! Jed was fearless when it came to feeding or touching all of the animals. RJ thinks he will grow up to be a farmer.

He insisted on petting every animal! It was kind of cute, but by the 14th goat I was tired of them.

We did a dairy tour where they showed you the "modern" way of milking cows. It was both fascinating and  a little sad. Machines do everything for us now, It's kind of crazy.

These huge pigs kind of freak me out. I always think of the criminal minds episode where the guy uses pigs to dispose of the bodies. Too much? I thought so.

I didn't get a lot of pictures because it was fun to just watch them enjoy the animals. Its a whole different game with three kids. It was fun asking them what their favorite part was, and them actually remembering the animals. We hope to go back again, and we hope to be able to visit some farms from our friends at church. We want him to be very familiar with animals. He might be a farmer, after all. 

Jed Says

Jed is about 3 months from turning three, and my heart just can't take how old he seems now. He's like three going on thirteen! Not only has he developed this new found attitude, he has also developed quite the charming personality.

He has been saying some of the funniest things lately. He also has a great memory which can be a good and bad thing, right moms? It's cute when he remembers his dinosaur names, not so cute when he remembers that ice cream he happened to see in the fridge.

We took him to his first movie last week and it was so much fun watching him enjoy seeing all the animals (it was The Jungle Book). Now he ask to see it everyday. I wanted to share some of the really funny things he's been saying lately because I just want to remember it all five years from now.

The other day we were sitting on the couch and he comes over and hugs me and says, "you're my best friend, mom." I mean!!! My heart can't take it.

He also said, "you're a princess, mom." Which I had no idea he knew what a princess was since he doesn't really watch princess shows, but it gave me a giggle.

Over the weekend he told me to "Chill out, mom!" Which I tried my hardest not to laugh at because I don't really want him to walk around saying that to anyone. But he learned it from RJ saying it to him. That memory!!

Today he said, "hey Babe!" Which I know he got from RJ, and I just about died. 

He will also ask us if I'm mommy or Daisy, and If RJ is daddy or RJ. We try and tell him that we're mom and dad, but sometimes he insist on calling us by our first and last name. 

He's at an age where he is a lot of fun, and a lot of crazy! So. Much. Energy! It's amazing. He's learned the difference between like and love, because he likes Mickey Mouse but he loves gummy bears. 

I'm loving this age but it can be exhausting at times. It makes me nervous to think about having two boys, specially somewhere where you're inside half the year! Thankfully summer is almost here, and we could not be more excited!!! 

It's a.....

BOY!!! We found out we are having a boy a couple a weeks ago. While at first I started to feel a bit of a panic, I am not super excited. I was happy either way, just realize how much our chances of having a girl are slimming, but thats okay! Whatever God has planned is good. We decided to take some quick pictures just for fun. I wish I would have done that more while I was pregnant with Ben, so I'm trying to do it more this time around.

Here are a few of the ones we took.

Grinding up light blue chalk dust was not the best idea, but it was on the fly, so....

and Jed just loved it! He had the best time.

RJ on the other hand. haha Can you tell he just loves pictures. 

we could not be more excited! mom of boys!!! 

I took some of just me and baby. I feel really self conscious while pregnant, but I think I will appreciate these more in the future. Learning to get over some of those insecurities and just realizing that theres a season for everything! More to share on that later, but we are just so grateful to have a healthy baby right now, and thats what we continue to pray for. God has been gracious to us.

We are half way there! Thinking of boy names is so hard, so if you have any, let us know :) 

Favorite Toddler Books

I wanted to share some of our favorite toddler books at the moment. I am always looking for a good book for Jed because most of the time he would rather see TV than read. But here are some books that have managed to keep his attention.

1. Sticker Books. Are probably Jed's very favorite right now. His grandma got him a couple of really cool ones that he enjoys putting together. When I thought of sticker books I always assumed they were literally a book with nothing but stickers, but you actually use the stickers on separate pages. Even though theres not a lot of words in these, they can be educational. Depending on the book you get, kids can learn about food, dinosaurs, body parts, shapes. Below is an example of the inside of a book.

I didn't post a link to any because there are so many options for these types of books. These in particular are Usborne books.

2. The Gruffalo. As far as story books, this one is probably Jeds favorite, along with Where the Wild things are. But that is such a popular book that i didn't bother including it. This one might be just as popular but I actually didn't know about it until my mother in law sent it (grandma for the win again!). This book is so cute and clever. The story is just so cleverly written!

3 & 4. Mix it up and Press Here. These books go together because they're by the same author. These are hands down my favorite books we read. Jed has so much fun with them, and he's learning!! Press Here is more basic colors and counting, perfect for toddlers. Mix it Up teaches kids about how to mix colors to make other colors. They're both genius! We love reading these, and have even bought them for our friends as gifts.

5. Shine a light books. These are actually books we haven't tried but I would like to try next. I did some research and saw some Youtube videos and they looks like a so much fun. They seem like regular books, but when you shine a flashlight on the pages they reveal pictures. I think Jed would love these! They are definitely our list to try. These are all Usborne books but I have seen them on Amazon as well.

These are just a few of our favorites. I am always looking for good interactive books since that's what Jed seems to enjoy the most. Right now the sticker books are his favorite. I've heard of wipe clean books as well which I would really like to get for long car rides or airplane trips. We are always looking for a good book if you know of any.

Comment down below with some of your favorites! 

Baby #3!!!!

We are very excited to announce Baby #3, due in September. We have a lot of different emotions at different times, but mostly we are over the moon. Jed seems to be both excited and not interested, depending on when you ask. When we gave him the ultrasound picture and said thats the baby he basically said thats nice, and handed it back to us. Haha.

We are already so in love! Can't wait to meet you, Baby.

Old Mcdonald's Farm

I finally got a chance to sit and write a post about my in-laws visiting. While they were here we managed to see a lot of different things. We even made a trip down to Niagara falls. Today I wanted to share our day at the farm. Farms have been one of the very best things about the north country! Everyone here seems to have one. We visited Old Mcdonald's farm out by Sackets Harbor, and I have to say it was pretty amazing. We don't really grow up with farm animals in the city and even if you can see them, you can't get that close. It was amazing how close you were able to get here. You would never be able to do that in LA. We had a really great time! Jed loved every minute of it. I think the goats were his favorite.

 He was able to feed them, which was awesome. I would actually not mind having a goat, they seem useful, and a little cute.

 He was so excited, he was dancing!

 He fed whatever these are. Peacocks? Chickens?

 They had a reindeer! It was so cool!!! I mean, just very cool.

 The cows were my favorite. I just think they're so cute! I also feel like i relate with them the best. I feel like a cow is my spiritual animal, you know.

They had a pumpkin patch where you could pick pumpkins for $2! 

It was such a blast! Definitely hope to go back once the season starts up again.

I hope to blog more regularly again. I feel like I need the outlet. I just think my brain is a little fried from these crazy last few months. Jed is getting older and he does not stop talking. It is both cute and exhausting. He's getting to the age where he repeats everything you say. Yikes! Hope to share more soon, maybe in a vlog. Just trying to get back in the swing of things around here.

Hope everyone is having a great week so far!

Apple Picking

We went Apple Picking on Monday. A family at church has an apple orchard and they so generously invited the entire church to come and pick some apples. It was so much fun!! We had a BBQ afterwards. They also played volleyball, corn hole, had a trampoline (which Jed loved), and rode kids on a tractor. It was the full country experience. I have to say, I loved it!! It was so much fun. I could see us living this kind of life.

They had a lot of different varities of apples and Jed just had to try them all. 

^^Natalia! This is Jeds new BFF. We love that they live a few houses down from us :) 

^^This was my favorite. It was really red, almost purple, and white like snow on the inside.^^ 

The wasp or bees that were after the apples were insane! The bugs here are something else. I think the term is not afraid. Which makes me more afraid! Ha

Look at that face! He loved it. He just enjoys being outside and doing all of these things. I enjoy watching him have fun. It's funny how your priorities change so much as a parent. I'm thinking we should get a trampoline in the summer. It seems to be what these country people do, that and slackline's.

I am really enjoying experiencing this slower pace, outdoor lifestyle. We were promised snowmobile riding in the winter so we're looking forward to that :) We are just embracing this whole new life and taking the good with the bad. Although, I still much rather have my husband home. It does seem like we grow closer each time he leaves.

Farmer's Market

There are so many farmers markets here! Which I guess can be completely expected in the country. That is one of the things I have really enjoyed about this place. The food is really fresh here, I enjoy supporting local farmers. Not to mention you can get the best cheesecake brownie here!!! We went into downtown this week and just decided to walk around, because that is what you do here for fun.

The carrots were something else!^^^ This picture doesn't do them justice.

The library here is really cool. We like the lions that great you in the front.

I let jed pick a pumpkin, he ended up dropping one so thats  what he had to take home. He thinks It's a ball (sigh).

They had the cutest little onions, or are they shallots? Not sure.

This was the one he dropped. So we picked it and sent Dad a picture. Speaking of, I really miss him. You would think at this point in our marriage I would be use to functioning without him, but I'm not. It still stinks. It feels like a part of me is missing. It's this weird, aching, uncomfortable feeling. i hate it. Ive been super emotional this past week, and I keep asking myself how I will handle a deployment. A part of me feels like I can't and I keep praying that it doesn't happen. Its just so honestly hard to be a part from RJ. We have been together since I was 14!! That is almost half my life.It really is hard for us to function a part. The only comfort I take is knowing he's miserable too. Ha. Just kidding!

Hoping these last few weeks go by quickly!

A NY Beach

We visited the beach yesterday, or what NY calls a beach! My california-girl-snobby-self wants to say that was not a beach. But it actually wasn't all that bad. I liked that it wasn't salt water, that there were trees, which means shade!! Also, there was a playground which was fun for Jed :) It's been rough few days so it was nice getting out and just relaxing. There was absolutely no one there which was the cherry on top. The only thing that would have made this day better is a stop by the fruit stand (cough, cough). 

 We might have had more fun than Jed on the swings. RJ was so excited that they were long chains.

 These two will go in any water, anywhere, no matter the weather. AND throw rocks for hours :)

                         ^^^We found a fish and it was just the best thing ever for Jed.^^^

 ^^^Not sure if you can make out the tiny tadpoles. Ummm, yeah. Thats why I wouldn't put anything but my feet in.

 The tiniest, cutest, shells.

 This guy! He has been driving me crazy with the amount of energy he seems to have, and never run out of. Also the amount of whining and tantrums (good grief)! I chant to myself to stay strong and that it will get better if I don't give in. So stay strong mommas, you're not alone. We're all crying in a corner together. So this day at the beach was a nice break. Also, just love having RJ with me to fight the good fight.